


A New Light

by Woofemus



Category: Tales of Series, Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 02:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8039695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woofemus/pseuds/Woofemus
Summary: Alisha has doubts about her new Squire pact.





	A New Light

**Author's Note:**

> set during the DLC, usual spoilers for the game
> 
> this was supposed to be shipfic but it ended up turning into more of an Alisha piece instead oops

The moment Alisha’s back and head hit the mattress and pillow, her eyes instantly close, whole body sagging into the bed. Her eyes are painful and sore after all the crying she hates to admit that she did. Even worse is that it was in front of  _Rose,_ someone who she never thought would be so…  _so…_

Alisha can’t even think of a  _proper_ word for what she feels for the other woman right now, her anger still boiling underneath. How dare Rose think she knows best for Alisha? As if Alisha doesn’t already suffer those sentiments enough, now she gets them from someone who she thought would spare her from those trifling niceties. The very thought makes Alisha feel… feel… 

Tired. 

Alisha groans angrily, rolling onto her side. Right now, she needs sleep. With the Squire pact reinstated, she can now see the pro-war extremists for what they really are, and tomorrow will no doubt be a busy day hunting down the troublesome hellions. They’re much tougher than what Alisha’s ever faced before, so she needs to make sure she’s in perfect form too. With that thought, Alisha finally relaxes, trying to her best to ignore the sting of her eyes–

Her eyes snap open suddenly, a horrified realization coming to her then. 

The Squire pact had been a fit of spontaneity from  _both_ of them, she admits, but that is absolutely no excuse on her own part. Alisha’s opinion of Rose might have shot straight into the ground after everything that just happened in the past few hours, but even she would never wish this upon Rose. 

With the moonlight streaming gently through the window of her room, Alisha raises her hand, the very same one she had forged the Squire pact once more with, and rests it upon her eyes. 

Alisha  _never_ forgets, and she never forgives herself for what happened with the last Squire pact, what had happened with Sorey. Even as she keeps herself busy and distracts herself with the duties of her kingdom, sometimes, in her quietest moments where there is no more paperwork and diplomacy meetings to plan out, it becomes the loudest thing she can hear.

Lady Maltran used to dull over those thoughts with her praise, keeping Alisha going when it seemed like no one else would. 

But now Lady Maltran is gone, and all those words she had spoken then seem so hollow, so empty. 

Alisha closes her eyes but she doesn’t sleep, too fitful and restless now as she worries over what she’ll discover in the morning. The moonlight eventually disappears, and the beginning rays of sunlight shine through instead. The hours pass and still, Alisha’s mind remains caught in a single thought. 

_Will my best always never be good enough, no matter how hard I try?_

With a frustrated groan, Alisha throws off the covers, rubbing at her head. Morning has already come, and she might as well make the most of it instead of dwelling here in her awful thoughts. There’s still much to be done today: patrol the perimeters with the knights, continue searching for clues for the extremists and their hide-out, attempt to wrangle some more information out of Rose about Sorey…

Alisha mindlessly goes through the motions as she dresses herself, missing entirely the loud pounding of footsteps outside.

Rose bursts through her door with a grin that seems even sunnier than the sun itself somehow. Not that it matters, because Alisha screams and nearly throws her gauntlet at Rose as she tries to cover herself. “Yo, Alisha!”

“R-Rose! What are you doing–” 

“Oh! Are you changing? Perfect!” And Rose dives forward, catching her wrists and turning around to gesture with her head–Alisha’s eyes widen impossibly more, realizing that Lailah and Edna are standing just outside, and Lailah’s eyes sparkling with…  _something._

And here Alisha is, standing half-naked with her cover more or less being only Rose who seems more intent on getting Alisha  _out_ of her clothes, in front of revered seraphim, one of which is the  _Prime Lord_ for the  _Shepherd_. 

This is worse than being made a fool of in front of the council, she thinks in this moment, too frozen with absolute mortification to even do anything.  _Strike me down here, I have reached the pinnacle of debauchery and shamefulness—_

Hands shove her down to force her to sit on the bed, and she jolts back to reality, looking down to realize she has a fresh change of clothes on, clothes that are decidedly  _not_ her knight uniform. 

Before she can inspect the rest of her outfit, a low humming reaches her ears, and Alisha can feel her hair being pulled, firmly but not forcefully. Rose and Edna stand in front of her, which means…

“Your hair is just so nice and curly,” Lailah says with a laugh. “It’s been so long since I got to play with someone else’s hair. If only Rose or Edna could grow out their hair so I could play with it!” 

Edna scoffs, and Rose laughs dismissively as she says, “Long hair’s never been my style. I always just chop it off whenever it gets too long.” 

Lailah makes a disappointed sound but continues her work on Alisha’s hair. Unable to do much but continue staring ahead, Alisha finds herself focusing on Rose instead. Rose with long hair… what would she look like? It’s hard to imagine really, even after seeing her armatized in the battle from last night. With Sorey's hair, she always had the impression that it had flowed all around him, a natural extension of himself. With Rose, it had felt more like a whip, almost as sharp as the giant sword in her hands, like a weapon. 

It’s just one tiny difference, but Alisha can't get over even how _different_ their armatizations feel.

Rose catches her eyes then. Alisha startles but doesn’t break contact. They stare at each other for… for how long, Alisha isn’t even sure, but it feels like a long time for her. Too long a time, because Rose tilts her head and gives her a smirk, that same one from last night when she called out  _Princess_  instead of Alisha’s name and laughed in her face.

Alisha feels that familiar anger bubbling underneath when she remembers what happened. She darts her eyes away, her own lips downturned in annoyance. It was an act to push her away, but how much of it was truly act and…  _not_ _?_

That, Alisha isn’t sure if she wants to know.

“There,” Lailah finally announces, tugging slightly on Alisha’s hair before she joins Edna and Rose in front of Alisha, clapping her hands together in glee. “What do you think?”

Alisha slowly stands up and finally looks down at herself—

“W-w-what am I wearing!? What is this?! F-formal wear?! Why am I wearing this?” Alisha tries to tug on her skirt to pull it down, feeling  _so_ woefully underdressed. This… this skirt is far too short for her liking, her shoulders and arms are bare too, there isn’t any sort of  _armor_ on this outfit at all, and these boots feel far too stiff for her to fight in—

“ _I_ think it looks good,” Rose interrupts with a grin that hides her eyes, and Alisha isn’t sure why Edna suddenly makes a disgusted sound but a quick glance shows she’s looking at Rose instead of Alisha. Rose reaches behind herself and throws over a jacket that matches the rest of the outfit. Too much in a hurry to feel grateful, Alisha quickly puts it on, and realizes it only makes a small modicum of difference. Even with this outfit on, Alisha feels… naked, unprotected,  _bare._

“Oh, and here too.” Rose reaches behind her again, and now she has a hat in her hands. But not just any hat, Alisha is quickly realizing with horror, but a hat with the widest brim Alisha’s ever seen (which says more than it needs to because Alisha has seen  _a lot_ of things from the nobility), and  _are those feathers?_

It is, without a doubt, the longest and most trying morning Alisha’s ever had. 

“I knew I picked out some good clothes,” Rose says later as they stand outside the knight’s quarters. Alisha doesn’t miss the playfulness in her tone, and it makes her almost clench her fists in anger.

“You really do look pretty,” Lailah compliments with a clap of her hands, reaching out to adjust the hat once more before stepping back. Alisha’s anger fades quick as it came.

“T-thank you, Lady Lailah,” Alisha manages to mumble, wondering if the hat can hide the blush on her cheeks. At least Lailah feels much more sincere than _Rose._

They begin discussing their plans, specifically one for Alisha to run around as bait to lure out the extremists to see if there’s a hide-out. Alisha likes that part, being able to get to the bottom of the mess with the pro-war extremists. But—

“I told you to get mugged, not talk to every single citizen who wants to brag to their friends that they talked to Princess Alisha Diphda!” Rose complains later once Alisha pulls away from what she thinks is the sixth person to come up to her. Alisha sniffs and turns her head away from Rose.

“You put me in these clothes to be noticed, Rose! And I can’t just turn away these people away! What if they have some information that could help us out with the search? And even if not, hearing their concerns and worries are also a part of my duty as well, if I want to make this peace treaty last.”

“Yeah, but you can do that some other day, can’t you?”

“I… well, yes—”

“Then do it.” It’s Edna who cuts into their conversation. She isn’t directly facing Alisha but her eyes narrow with a sideways glance toward her. “Rose’s been dragging us all around and I don’t want to look after her sorry self when she collapses after forgetting to eat.  _Again._ ”

Rose protests, “H-hey–!”

Alisha isn’t even sure what to say to that, watching as Rose and Edna begin to bicker. She’s never thought of Rose forgetting to do something essential like _eat,_ althoughnot that Alisha is much better, recalling all the times she nearly exhausted herself out after working for hours without eating. 

“L-Lady Edna,” Alisha begins, getting everyone’s attention as she bows her head toward the earth seraph, feeling mortified at herself for forgetting about the needs of the seraphim, along with a newfound look on Rose’s situation. “Forgive me, I hadn’t meant to be so inconsiderate!” With her head bowed, she misses Lailah giving a sharp look to Edna, who only shrugs in response. “Very well,” she continues, “perhaps we could head toward Glaviend Basin then? I know the areas around Lastonbell have been thoroughly searched for the extremists but nothing turned up.”

“And we didn’t run into anything at Falkeswin Hillside,” Rose adds.

“Oh…” Lailah suddenly looks troubled, clasping her hands together in worry. “There’s an area there that Edna sealed off…”

Rose and Alisha look at each other, minds already made up. “Guess we don’t have any other leads but there then,” Rose says with a shrug, walking ahead toward the gates.

“Rose, wait!” Alisha runs forward, ahead of Rose. “I’m supposed to be bait, right? So I’ll walk ahead.”

Rose raises her eyebrows at her, and that awful smirk comes back on her face. “Well… if you insist.”

Alisha resists the urge to groan loudly. This isn’t supposed to be some game, there are real lives on the line here, but all Alisha wants to do is  _prove_ Rose wrong. She can do this, she doesn’t need Rose’s help for anything (except maybe the hellions), she won’t let anything stop her here, not with peace so close.  

“Just watch me, Rose!” 

Rose smirks at the challenge, but Alisha suddenly goes cold as she remembers one very important detail, specifically one that kept her up all of last night.  

 _How is she supposed to watch me if she can’t even_ see _?!_

She isn’t sure how much Rose knows, how much Rose is hiding, how much of the person she once thought friend she truly knows now. Did the others tell her of why Alisha couldn’t stay at Sorey’s Squire? She feels like they should have, but…

Caught in her own challenge, Alisha has no choice but to march forward into the Volgran Forest, Rose following after her heels as the seraphim reside back inside their vessel. The walk is awkwardly silent, with only the sounds of the wildlife and leaves crunching under their boots accompanying them. 

Alisha’s never quite felt comfortable walking through Volgran; there’s nothing like this back home, where all the fields are wide and open as far as the eye can see. Even in Arondlight, the trees don’t grow to be this _huge_ , and she’s always thought of those woods as peaceful, idyllic. Here, where even the trees block out the sun itself, it feels restricting. Even though she doesn’t see any hellions around right now, she still feels tense, all her senses alert, like something will jump out at any moment from those thick bushes.

It makes her current predicament even worse, putting her more on edge. It’s easy, she tells herself, to just turn around and ask Rose if she feels… sick. It _should_ be easy, but–

Oh! Alisha blinks as yet another troubling thought comes to her: what if Rose hides her ailment like Sorey did? What if the seraphim talked to Rose about it and decided to keep quiet once more, out of consideration of her feelings? Although she can’t feel like Edna would go along with it, she can’t rule out that possibility either.

There’s only one thing that she can do then.

Alisha slows to a halt, waiting until she hears Rose stop as well. She turns around, marching up to Rose with determination.

“Rose, are… are you, um, feeling…”  _Unwell? Sick? Blind?_  “–okay?” Alisha settles for, staring into Rose’s eyes. They don’t seem to be uncloudy, but she hadn’t remembered Sorey’s being either. They were always so colorful, the most vibrant shade of green like the luscious fields outside Ladylake.

“… uh?” Rose blinks at her, blue eyes slightly narrowed. “I’m fine but are  _you_ tired? Is that why you stopped?” She unconsciously takes a step back from Alisha’s intense stare.

“No, it’s…” Alisha tries once more. “Are you _sure_ , Rose? You don’t feel tired? Like maybe… you want to rest your eyes or something?”

“… what the heck are you talking about?” Rose looks away from her, scratching the back of her head. “What’s all this for?” A corner of her lips twitches upward, a tease, Alisha knows. “Feeling worried about me?”

But she doesn’t rise to the bait, stepping forward instead. If she were paying attention, she’d catch Rose’s smile slipping slightly. This might be rude of her, but…

Back then, it had been Sorey’s right eye, if she remembered correctly (and she does, because how could she forget almost killing him?) 

Alisha shoots her hand out, just for a small tap, toward Rose’s right eye–

Rose yelps the same time a hand immediately clasps around Alisha’s wrist. Before Alisha can register anything, there’s a tug, her feet flying out from under her, and she crashes right into Rose, sending the both of them to the ground, Alisha sprawled out on top of Rose. 

“W-whoa whoa whoa, princess! What do you think you’re doing?” Rose’s voice is above her, and Alisha cranes her head upward to look at Rose to apologize–

Rose’s breath puffs past her cheek. Their faces are close, even closer than Alisha thought they would ever be.

 _Too close,_ Alisha thinks with a tiny squeak, but her body refuses to obey her right now. Once more, just like the morning, she’s caught staring into Rose’s eyes.

They’re infallibly blue, and for a moment, Alisha thinks they could be warm, like the waters around Ladylake. If Shepherd Sorey’s eyes had reflected all of his passions and kindness, then Rose’s eyes… Rose’s eyes…

Alisha can’t tell, not when she’s realizing now that she never really  _has_ known Rose. 

“So,” Rose begins, eyes slowly trailing down from Alisha’s eyes. Alisha is more than confused, wondering what Rose could even be looking at, and why there is a different quality to Rose’s voice that seems… lower, thicker,than what Alisha’s ever heard from her before. “Is  _this_  what you wanted me to watch?” 

Unable to do anything else, Alisha follows the path of Rose’s eyes downward, down to where she can see her own bosom–

Oh?

Oh.

“ _O-oh!_ ” 

Rose laughs obnoxiously loud into the trees even as Alisha shoots one hand out to shove Rose’s face away and the other to futilely cover the open area of her chest. Her whole face is burning hot, and she wants to just sink into the ground.  Actually, no, it isn’t just her face that’s raging like an inferno. If only Mikleo were here, she could ask him to douse her in water because her whole _body_ feels like it’s on fire right now. 

The seraphim are standing next to them now, with Lailah giggling away. Rose continues to guffaw even as Edna jabs her with her umbrella. Alisha groans angrily and quickly pushes herself up, tugging down her hat as much as she can to hide her face from them. 

“Definitely worth a sight,” Rose says, and Alisha doesn’t need to even look at her to know she has the hugest grin on her face. 

“Ugh!” Alisha stomps away, covering her face with her hands and wondering what  _else_ could go wrong this time. This whole day has been doing nothing but trying her patience, and  _all_ she just wanted to know was–

 A sudden presence at her side makes her peek through her fingers to see who it is. Lailah, with a patient smile, matches her pace. 

“L-Lady Lailah!” Alisha closes the gap between her fingers again, even more embarrassed than before. “I’m so sorry that you had to see something as unsightly as that.” 

“Don’t worry, it was… entertaining.” Lailah laughs quietly behind her hand. “You and Rose certainly know how to keep things fun.” 

“It’s all Rose’s fault.” Alisha knows she sounds like a child throwing a tantrum, even pouting slightly too, but she just can’t help it. There’s just something about Rose that makes her feel so… Alisha still can’t even describe what that feeling is. Disoriented? Off-kilter? Unbalanced? Definitely not… good. The way Rose can just flit between playfulness and callousness so _easily_ worries Alisha. She’s never had to deal with someone so troublesome, someone who meets all her earnestness and throws it back in her face with mocking.

 _And the shameless f-flirting_ , Alisha thinks as her cheeks flush yet another shade of red.

“Alisha.” 

The sudden somberness in Lailah’s voice pulls Alisha out of her thoughts and lower her hands from her face. Her back straightens just slightly as she turns to face the fire seraph. “Y-yes?” 

“Everything’s okay,” Lailah begins with a smile. “You don’t need to worry, Rose’s eyes are just fine.” 

“… oh.” Alisha blinks at her. And then again, and then a third time before the words finally sink in. “W-wait, huh?! R-really?” Alisha’s voice is a whisper but full of excitement and relief. Lailah gives her a nod, and smiles again. That expression is more than an absolute boon to Alisha who nearly jumps with joy at seeing it. “That’s–that’s wonderful! B-but, but how?” 

In her ecstatic mood, she misses the way Lailah’s smile wavers slightly. “That… may be hard to explain,” she says slowly, “and a very long story.” 

Alisha opens her mouth, to tell Lailah that she doesn’t care, that she has  _all_ the time in the world to listen to everything, that she wants to  _know_  right here, right now–

“C’mon, princess!” Rose’s voice, shouting from behind, interrupts Alisha. “We don’t have all day, at least get mugged before we run out of sunlight!” 

Alisha whirls on her feet to look at Rose, who grins cheekily. Alisha knows she’s waiting for a retort, and Alisha herself feels the words already rising in her throat. But instead—

“Keep watching me, Rose! I’ll get mugged in no time!” Alisha shouts back and spins around but not before she catches the incredulous look on Rose’s face. It makes her giggle—and she claps her hands over her mouth. “O-oh! What am I even saying?” Rose’s fault, she decides again. Next to her, Lailah giggles once more. “But we really do need to find the extremists as soon as we can…”

“We do, but,” Lailah pauses to give her another smile, calm and warm, understanding like she always seems to be. “Alisha, it’s been such a long time since you were able to travel with us. Why don’t you also take this time to enjoy the journey too?”

“H-huh?” Alisha stops walking, staring at Lailah, who only keeps her smile on, as if she’s just said the most obvious thing in the world. Alisha’s never thought of this trip that way. All she’s had on her mind recently is the peace treaty, and everything she can do in her power to make it work between Hyland and Rolance. Even deeper than that desire was her wish to be able to travel as a Squire, but knew it would never be when she reformed the Squire pact with Sorey and it _still_ hurt him even after so much time had passed. It would remain a dream she would have fondly at night, she always thought.

But now here Alisha is, a Squire once more albeit under Rose and not Sorey with Rose suffering no repercussions, seeing and talking to the seraphim she’s always revered, and hunting hellions threatening the peace of the world she’s worked so hard for. This is… everything she’s wanted.  

“Everything will be fine,” Lailah tells her then, and Alisha looks at her once more. Lailah’s smile is warm, like a crackling fire in the middle of a campsite after a long day. It’s comforting, soothing, reassuring, so very much like the Lady of the Lake as Alisha had remembered at the beginning of everything back home, when she once deluded herself into thinking she could feel a presence next to the sacred blade.

Tears gather at the corner of Alisha’s eyes before she even realizes, wondering when were the last times she’s heard those words. It always seems like the world is always crashing down on her, and she has to pick herself up every time, to tell herself that she must press forward. Alisha ducks her head and sniffles, wondering if Lailah knows how truly comforting those words really are. And Alisha realizes she does a second later, when Lailah rests a gentle hand on her shoulder. It makes her smile through her tears.

For the first time in what seems like forever, Alisha feels like she truly can believe everything will be fine. 


End file.
